


Buzzcut Season

by phan_trash_1



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-20
Updated: 2017-05-04
Packaged: 2018-09-18 10:55:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9381398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phan_trash_1/pseuds/phan_trash_1
Summary: (I won't write a summary but this story is sad as all hell so I'm so sorry to anyone who cries because of this.)





	1. Chapter 1

I remember when you called me into your room. The camera was on in front of you. You held my hand and kissed me and told me to tell everyone; tell them what we were. The ring on your finger shone almost as brightly as your smile. I got caught up in the moment. I told the camera all about us, weaving for them the story we lived. Your dimples were as beautiful and rare as dew on a grassy field at daybreak. I kissed you again and again. Every time my lips met yours, your face went a faded pink. You looked so beautiful then.

When the camera was off, I held your hand and asked why you wanted to tell them all. We both knew that they wanted to know; they'd wanted to know for years. Ever since we met, in fact, they'd been trying to figure it out. You looked into my blue eyes with your amber brown ones and explained that you couldn't take the waiting anymore. You didn't want to live in secrecy anymore. I nodded and held you close to me. The warmth of your body on my chest was comforting. I felt your even breathing and I sighed in relief, glad that I was with you. I stared at that gleaming gold ring on your finger and smiled as you fell asleep on me.


	2. Chapter 2

I wake up on the couch in the lounge. The sweet dream fades and I sigh. The TV softly plays the newest information about wars and foreign affairs in the background. I stare up at the ceiling of the perfect home we had created together.

My phone buzzes and I pick it up. It says that Louise messaged me. I look at it. 'I'm sorry again. Is there anything I can do to help? Me and Cat are going out for lunch. Wanna come to make you feel better?' I groan and text back. 'No thanks. I just need to be alone for a while. Tell Cat that I'm sorry I can't be there.' I throw my phone. You would have liked me to go with them. But I can't face them. They're still living with their heads inside a dream. They think so much that isn't true that they start believing the lies in their head. That everything's fine.

I hear a rustling in another room and close my eyes again. I fall back asleep. You're next to me. I feel the warmth of your body next to mine. I open my eyes only to find the dog curled up beside me. I wish it was you. You picked out the dog and cuddled it right on this couch. I sigh again and hold her close as I fall asleep sadly, your laughing face lurking in the dark waters of my mind.


	3. Chapter 3

The bus was huge to me when we walked up to it. You had smiled at me and held my hand. "Are you excited?" I had heard you ask. I smiled and kissed your perfect, smooth cheek. "Of course," I had replied, "I'm always excited to go somewhere new with you."

We loaded our stuff on the bus and then we drove off to our first stop. Everyone on the streets stopped to look at us, riding high above them. I had remembered your curly hair when you woke up and your straight hair when you filmed us. It was stupid, I remember thinking, you shouldn't have to straighten your hair for them. They know you. Now they don't.

I open my eyes as tears fall perfectly on the book. I wipe them away softly, as if scared that I would shift the printed photos in the book. I close it delicately, placing it back on the messy desk. I place it carefully, making sure not to disrupt anything else. I always liked the way your room looked, it was a pretty contrast to mine. But something in this room was always prettier.

I get up to leave. I walk by the white piano and I pause, seeming to hear notes playing softly. You always played that piano. I remember editing and hearing the soft, calming music coming from your fingers. The piano itself reminds me of new starts, new beginnings, moving here.


	4. Chapter 4

"Philip. Do stop moping around. I know you're sad, but you can't let this control you." Her voice, so comforting to me when i was young, now has a kind of sting to it. I feel the phone slipping from my hand and I grab it again.

"You can't just expect me to forget him, can you? If you lost dad right now, would you be telling yourself to get over him?" My eyes are like faucets; water is forever dripping from them. "Dad means so much to you. And he meant so much to me. I can't simply get over it."

I hear her sigh and then she says goodbye. I hear the phone click. I put it gently into my pocket and walk to the bathroom to wash my face off. I stumble slightly, feeling suddenly lightheaded and dizzy. It subsides and I look in front of the mirror. My eyes have lost what you called their "prettiness." My skin is paler that usual and I notice my eyes almost look gray. How sad.


End file.
